Work is…work.  I’m working as much OT as they’ll give me.  The extra money is excellent right now!  I really do love my job, although I have put my resume out there.  I’m not sure I’m where I’ll always be anymore.  I have doubts now, about my career…my future…my goals.  I want to make a difference.  I want to be excited again, about my lifework.  Is that so much to ask?  I’m thinking not so much.  Tonight when I was working overtime, one of my residents rolls up to me, in her wheel chair, and smiles at me.  I smiled back, and she laughed, and said, “Hi Sweetheart.”  I just looked at her for a minute.  I’ve worked with this woman for almost 7 years now.  She see’s me everyday.  To her, I DO make a difference.  That made me remember how much I can love my work.  I really love my residents. 

I get out at almost midnight, and my husband was outside, waiting for me.  He was picking me up.  We drove home together, with the windows down a bit…it was chilly out.  I could feel fall in the air, and it made me feel down.  I looked over at my husband.  In the darkness, lit only dimly by the dashboard lights, I saw him glance over at me.  He smiled, then faced the road again.  I smiled then, so happy that he loves me!  We chatted on the way home, about the kids, about money, about the rain that fell most of the evening.  We talked about nothing too serious, just chatted.   I love our time together.  Even if it’s only a few minutes stolen here and there.  We’re pretty good at making “us” time. 

We get home and 3 of the 4 kids here now, were still up.   I got some lovin’ from the girls, and they all went to bed within a 1/2 hour of my getting home.  I helped my husband clean up the kitchen, and he broiled me a piece of left over chicken from their dinner.  It was delicious!!  That, and a glass of diet pepsi, and I was a happy woman.   Now the kids are all sleeping, Jim is watching wrestling on TV and I’m blogging…I have tomorrow off, thank God!  We’re having a little birthday party for Becca’s boyfriend Dale.  He’s 20 tomorrow.  He has no idea we’re having cake.  His mom is coming over.  It should be a nice time.  I’m hoping that Jim and I can take time for a swim tomorrow night.  That is my ultimate relaxation.  I submerge in the water and swear I can SEE the stress leave my body.  It’s amazing.  I love it!  And Jim, bless him, comes with me, even though he could really care less.  lol  What did I do to deserve such an awesome mate?

Well I’m getting sleepy…and i’m chilly….and my belly is full.  All good ingredients for sleep!  Til next time   xoxo

My home is full again!  Kids everywhere.  The kids are once again filling my house with laughter, tears, dirty laundry…My son and his girlfriend drove up from Florida and stayed for several days.  That was great!  My daughter Kat came back home from Maine, done with her program there.  My other daughter  Becca and her boyfriend just moved in.  We went from empty to full in 60 seconds!    Joselyn comes home tomorrow.  She’s been in AZ for the past 6 weeks.  Tomorrow, all 3 girls will be home again!  It’s great, and crazy all wrapped up!  It’s going to be an adjustment for them all to be together again, sharing space.  And for Jim and I too!  We had gotten quite accustomed to being alone.  We like this better!  I love when the kids are around

Last weekend we had an awesome crazy party!  Jim’s family and my family, all partying together.  It was so fun!  We had a DJ, tons of food, and good times!  Heidi got trashed, Dan was responsible, and the kids were dirty dancing all over eachother in my yard.  Good times….good times.  People are laughing, dancing, singing, and I’m watching.  Watching all my friends and family.  Watching them intermingle.  Watching them enjoy eachother.  I felt old, watching my children.  They are adults!  When did that happen??  My husband was having such a great time with his family.  His niece, and his nephews were here.  Several people popped tents and stayed here.  I felt good, and safe, about that. Free, to let people have fun, free to have a few myself!  And knowing that people weren’t drinking and driving.  It allowed me to relax.  It was a great time.  One of my husbands nephews, Mike, had his son here with him, who’s 15.  He hadn’t seen his son since he was 3 yrs old.  His son, David,  lives in MO and I guess at this point in his life, he wanted to know his dad.  However it happened, it was really really cool.  The transformation in Mike was amazing!  He went from a virtual hobbit to a relaxed, fun, interactive guy!  He became a parent.  He became alive!  It was awesome.  I was really happy to meet David.   He looks just like Mike!  

After we pick up Joselyn at the airport tomorrow, we’re going to Mikes place so Joselyn can meet David.  They have been talking on the computer for quite some time.   They are excited to finally meet eachother!  Then David goes home the day after tomorrow.  Til next time!  And there will be a next time….MANY next times!  We’re going to stop and see Jim’s moms house tomorrow too.  It’s almost finished.   Jim and his brothers have pretty much re-done the place.  Ripped out bathrooms, cupboards, floors and re-did it all.  They filled the pool.  That made me cry. I have so many happy, happy memories around that pool, and I didn’t live there my whole life!  It made me so sad to fill it, like, it really felt…”gone.”  She felt really “gone.”  Jim took a tile from the pool, and has been engraving it.  It will say “Emil and Millies Family Pool” with the date it went in and the date it got filled.  It’s actually really cool!  I love it.  It’s so funny how people come, and go….how life comes, and goes.  How kids are born, and then they grow, and before you know it, your old.  Ok so we’re only early 40′s…..but damn it feels so old sometimes.  I think of Jims moms house.  He is the youngest of 7 kids.  His whole life was spent in that house.  He has a lifetime of memories there. Now the house is renovated.  Doesn’t even look the same.  Soon it will sell and have a new family making their own memories in it.  It’s just wierd to think of….

Tomorrow will probably be my last time in that house.  I’ll say my goodbyes tomorrow.  And leave it behind.  My husband and I will drive away, down Keans Rd., and towards another phase of our lives.    Goodbye to all the times we’ve had there.   Goodbye mom.   Goodbye….

I went to the front of my house, and noticed a note stuck into my picnic table, standing straight up.  I was curious…what’s that?  The joy of living at the end of the road, and having no kids in the house for the moment, I ventured outside, with not a stitch of clothes on.  Now, this may be more of a visual then you all need, but it was an amazing moment!  I walked straight off the little porch with no fear!  I’m at the end of the road.   I have no kids at home right now.    The dew on the grass was cold on my bare feet but the sun on my skin was warm and lovely.  I reached the picnic table and the paper was a note my husband had written to himself…haha and there I was, nosy and naked!  I stayed outside for a bit.  It was so warm and so quiet!  Then I ventured back inside, took a shower, and here I am….writing for the 1st time since I’ve been back from Guatemala.  A friend of mine told me the other day that I had to write!  I told her I have not been able to, since my return.  I don’t know why, it was just gone.  I couldn’t write!  She told me to fight that.  To write!  Last night, I sat here…and could not write.  This morning, it was like it was calling to me!   I feel inspired again!  And excited to write, to share.  Maybe more than you want to know, but I’m writing, just the same!  

My husband just woke up and wandered out.  It’s such an odd world, when the kids are gone.  We have the house to ourselves for 2 more weeks.  He asks me, “Hey, ya wanna go to breakfast?”  Let me think on that….YEAH!  So, we’re off to Campys, a lovely little diner here in Swanzey.  We love it there.  The people are so friendly and down to earth, the customers are the same, and we’ve made friends there.  The food is great, and suddenly, I’m very hungry!  Oh wait…I better get dressed 1st….

Peggy?  Thankyou.

Yesterday ended a phenomenon here called “Canicula”.  It’s an approximate 2 week period that occurs sometimes, in Guatemalas winter, or wet season, where it doesn’ t rain.  Not one drop.  There was 15 days with no rain, and yesterday, the 16th day, it poured all afternoon.  People were very happy!  15 days with no rain is alot here!  I enjoyed the sunny days, as did most others, but they were happy to have the rain back.  In their summer, it hardly rains at all!

I am a huge fan of Skype now, and recommend it to anyone who’s traveling!  It made it tolerable to be away from my family for this long.  We could talk face to face, on the computer, for free!  I could see them, and it made me feel better. I could see my husband, my children, and even my cat!  It was great.   And vice versa!  A month is a long time to be apart.  Skype was a huge asset to us.  So if your traveling, especially alone, I recommend skype!!  Even if you don’t have your own laptop, or computer access in your hotel or whatever,  there are numerous internet cafe’s, and all equipped with skpye!  I enjoyed having internet access in my room, cuz I could also Facebook, check emails, and blog!  Such a crazy time we live in, where this stuff is all possible.  I remember going away as a kid, and sending a postcard, that always arrived AFTER I got back!  LOL times have changed…

I’ve been studying a bit of Guatemalas history and geography.  It’s quite interesting!  I’m so sad to leave here  and yet so ready to go home, and share all of this!  Work is waiting, my family is waiting, I start school again in September…and who knows from there??  I don’t even know anymore.  I just know I can’t settle anymore, for the same old, same old.  I can’t settle for wondering whats out there, I have to know!  I have to see!  I have to participate!   Life is changing drastically, and I’m going along for the ride! Hell, it’s more then that….I’m in the drivers seat!   I won’t fear change or challenges anymore, I’ll embrace it.  The challenges I’ve faced on this journey have forever changed me.  And I don’t regret one single moment!  I can’t thank everyone enough, everyone who had any part in helping me get here.  GCC, my friends, family, and the school and family here that welcomed me!   I am forever grateful.

I think my memorable moments start when I walked out of the airport in Guatemala City, overwhelmed by all the people, the noise, the feeling of being alone in the world.  I looked out at the crowd of people outside, and saw a man holding up an orange sign, way up over his head, that read “DORI NADOLNY”.  I smiled and thought, ok!  Here we go!

Then there was the ever graceful wipe out in the street in front of the very full chicken bus.  I was up as fast as I went down!  My face was red, and my knees were throbbing.  I had to gather my bag, that had strewn about.  The cobblestone street is not fun to fall on!  My knees were bruised all week!  And no one laughed…If I’d seen that?  I would have laughed!  I can’t help it, people falling just LOOKS funny!  But, no one did, and I was up and moving again within seconds.

There was that moment, in Semuc Champay, about 3 hours into the hike, that I honesty thought I was going to just colapse, and die in the deep jungle, to never be seen again!  And then the pools and waterfalls came into view, and I lost my breath, it was so magnificent.  The 2 hour frolic in the pools erased the heat, the aches, and the fear of that incredible hike.  It was fabulous!!  Of course, another VERY memorable moment was that last leg of the trip to get to Semuc Champay, where we were all put in the back of a pick up.  OMG I still think of that, and just laugh!!  I can’t believe that I did that!  Amazing experiences…all of them.

Another moment for me was the little girl in Antigua, selling neclaces she made, with her mother who was selling textiles.  The little girls face when I gave her the bubbles I’d brought with me was priceless.  She was blowing bubbles, and then laughing, and chasing them.  It was an awesome moment for me.  She was such a beautiful child!  I also bought 4 of her necklaces. lol

My 1st meal out on my own.  Trying to communicate, and order, was a challenge, but I was able to make myself understood.  I sat alone, and ate this food, that I had no idea what it was.  But it was delicious!  I was scared, to be alone, the 1st time, but it was awesome.  And the food and people were great!

Then there was that moment in Panajachel, when I was just left at the bus station alone.  That was so scary.  That was the 1st real time I had to fight panic here.  And I survived it, and was able to ask for help.  They were so helpful, and got me to my boat tour, with time to spare. 

And my 1st Gallo was deffinately a moment!  Helen, a lady I met on the boat tour, and I had one when visiting Santiago.  It was ice cold, and delicious! 

Meal times with my host family are wonderful moments.  Nicholas, the 1 yr old boy, is so cute!  We all eat together, and my house mama is a fabulous cook!   I have a little notebook and at meals, I write down recipes of what we’re eating, and she sometimes tells me others, so I have them.  She is so excited that I want her recipes!

The markets are amazing.  The work these people put into their good amazes me.  They work so hard, and do such beautiful work.  I love how much color they use here!  It’s all so beautiful.

My 1st day here, Sunday, I had an appt. with the director of my school to set a schedule and give me my map of the city, etc.  I arrived at 7:30 in the morning, because I had my time difference all mixed up.  I woke them up.  I was so embarrassed.  But, it ended up being one of my memorable moments!  I returned, at the correct time of 11a, and had a successful meeting.  And, they didn’t hate me for waking them up on a Sunday morning!  haha

The morning I stepped off a curb and had eye contact, briefly, with a lady on a motorcycle that was an inch from running me down in the street.  Here, people know to stop because those on the road don’t stop for you.  I learned that too, as she whizzed by, blowing my hair back from my face.  I never again stepped off the curb without making sure the way was clear!

My time at My Guardian Angel, meeting and hanging with the kids.  It’s a very special place, staffed by very special people.  The kids were so accepting of the new faces all the time, and so sweet.

My 1st sight of the black sand beach and the Pacific Ocean was a deffinate moment.  My 1st site of a volcano, a huge moment.  My 1st sight of the patchwork quilt like mountainsides, another true moment.  The day the ocean claimed a life in Monterrico, a sad, sad moment. 

This has been an amazing journey, and there are many many more moments, but these ones stood out above the rest.  Reflecting on it all is great, to look back, at all thats happened here.  The smells in the street, from the little spots cooking food to the streets food vendors.  The street vendors selling their textiles and jewelry.  The cobblestone streets and the pastel walls lining them.  It was all so much to see and take in!  I’m so grateful I had 4 weeks here. 

Countdown begins again…I have 3 days left, and leave this fabulous city at 4am on the 4th day, headed home!  I’m ready.

The ocean here was violent, but breathtakingly beautiful.  The surf was so loud, it sounded like cannons going off.  It boomed, and crashed, so hard and so loud.  I was amazed.  I’m not new to the beach, but I’d not experienced it quite like this.  I waded on Saturday.  I’d never been in the Pacific Ocean!  The water was so warm, like a bath.  The black sand was so hot, it was almost unbearable, and I had crocs on!  There are little foot baths when you reached the hotel.  I assume to wash the sand off your feet, but for me, they were the main goal coming off the beach, as my feet were burning!  It was so different, so beautiful there.  This driftwood in the pic was my reading spot, and when I left there, I had black sand all over me!  The waves are so hard, they just throw the sand at ya.   You could see and feel the mist, it was great.  A quick shower was in order afterwards,  and the water here is cold…or colder.  LOL you don’t need it any other way, trust me! 

Mid afternoon it was so oppressively hot that people just stopped moving.  Every yard I walked past, there were people hanging in hamocks.  No one was moving.  Me?  I went in the pool, for about 4 hours durring the hottest time.  There was just no where else I’d rather be!  There was, what appeared to be a hot tub off the pool, but actually, it was like, an ice tub!  haha  I guess they know here that an ice tub, is just what is needed!  The water in the pool was nice and cool, refreshing.  But the water in the “ice tub” was WAY colder!  It was so funny.  So, when melting starts happening, a dip in the “ice tub” will save the day.  Funny cuz I was in the pool, and there were like 6 people in what I thought was a hot tub.  I could not wrap my mind around how they could tolerate that!  Little did I know!!

On Sunday morning, the rooster, and the surf, woke me up around 4:30.  I thought we were having a massive thunder storm or something!  When I realized it was the surf, I tried to lay back down, but between that and the rooster, sleep was not happening for me.  I ended up going out to the pool, at like, 5:30.  It was so peaceful.  No one was around, and when in the pool, I can see the ocean.  It was perfect!  And the crashing, booming surf was awe inspiring.  It was so loud, and relentless, that I finally had to go over and say hello to the ocean.  The walk to the beach only takes a few minutes, but the walk to the water is a bit farther still.  The sand was tolerable at this hour, and the beach was empty.  I stood there, in awe of this amazing place, the black sand, the wild surf and the mist of the morning.   The ocean claimed a life that day.  The rip tides and surf were wicked.  A crowd gathered..people were crying..lifeguards were searching.  They didn’t find him.  It was horribly sad.  I walked away from that, feeling sad to the core.  The ocean is magnificent, but oh so powerful, and sometimes unforgiving. 

When I got back to the hotel, I ordered some fries and an ice cold gallo, and ran into the german couple I’d met on the Semuc Champay trip!  We sat and chatted, and drank a beer together.  Then, it was time for me to go, back to Antigua.  The bus arrived, and my driver, Julio, took my bag and ushered me away.  All in all, it was a fabulous trip, but as we drove away, I looked back at the ocean, and said a little prayer for the life that was lost, and his loved ones  left behind.

By the time we picked up everyone else, the smell of hot sweaty people in one place got a bit overwhelming.  It made me smile though, another bit of this amazing journey.  I unrolled my window all the way, and dozed off, with the breeze and sun in my face.   This was my last weekend, next weekend I’ll be home!  I’m sad to leave, but ready, too. 

After school, I had lunch with my “family” then spent the afternoon at the pool at Hotel Antigua again.  Gosh, thats a refreshing thing to do!  I read about 5 more chapters of my book, soaked up some sun, and swam around.  I love that!  So relaxing, and enjoyable.  

 My host mama is the best cook ever!  It’s amazing what she can do!  I’m still in shock at all that i’m eating here.  I can’t imagine going back home and being picky, ever again!  I have no idea what I’m eating 1/2 the time, I just go for it, and wow!!  Good stuff!  

I also havn’t bitten my nails since I’ve been here!  Of course, I’m afraid to. LOL  I don’t want to introduce any bacteria to my mouth!  I’ve been pretty careful, but not neurotic. I’ve only drank bottled stuff…well except for my host mama’s fresh made fruit juice every morning.  I don’t buy stuff off street vendors…well, actually, yes I have.  And it’s always delicious!!    I brush my teeth with bottled water, and  I use Lemon and Thieves that I brought from home, around my room.  I’d say the only thing I do in excess is wash my hands, and use sanitizer when I’m out and about.  And I’ve been fine.

  I walk to school every day and I see alot of the same people.  The guy at the tienda, the guys at the farmacia, the lady at the panaderia, a lady that walks every morning with an older woman, etc.  Now, after 3 weeks of this, people always greet me now, on the street.  “Buenos dias Senora!”  It’s so neat!  I really am going to be sad to leave.  I’ve really had an absolutely amazing time.  And listen to me!  It’s not over yet!  I plan to enjoy it to the last drop!

I guess I better go get those homework assignments done!   Til next time, blog stalkers!  xoxo

I just paid for my last weekends adventure, yesterday.  I’m going to Monterrico, on the Pacific coast.  I can’t wait!  I’m not even nervous anymore about venturing off on my own….well, maybe a little bit, but really, I’ve done so many crazy things here that I’m sure I can handle it!  I did pay the $10 extra for my own room though!  hahaha  I’ll be leaving here Sat. at 8am, and leaving Monterrico on Sunday at 1pm, headed back to Antigua.   My hotel, Cafe del Sol, boasts that every room comes equipped with a mosquito net….??!? I wonder if I should be worried about that. LOL  A mosquito net around my bed….oooook!  I’m thinking, I’m probably really going to appreciate that!   The hotel is right on the beach, and it has a swimming pool!  YAY!  It sounds like a fabulous time, just waiting for me to get there!!   I’ve never seen a black sand beach, nor have I ever been in the Pacific Ocean!  So, I’m pretty psyched!  Expect more pics!!  Ya know, for rainy season, it’s pretty awesome weather here!  Hopefully, the weekend at the beach will be great weather too!

I will deffinately come back here.  Guatemala is an amazing place!  It’s so magnificently beautiful, and reasonable! I want to bring Jim here.  I want to show him all I’ve seen.   Maybe next year, when I come back for 4 weeks again, Jim can come on the last week!!  haha   Or maybe I’ll do 2 weeks here, and 2 weeks elsewhere, like, Costa Rica, or Panama, or Mexico.  This has only opened the door for me!  There’s no stopping me now!  I have visions!  I have places to see!  Things to experience!  And I plan on seeing as much of this world as I can.  I have no fear now.  I know that it’s there, all I have to do is go!   And I will.  My passport will be FULL of stamps!!  I will be full of memories as I travel around and see what the rest of our world looks like.  The main thing to remember is, we’re all of the same world.  We are all equal.  I have much to see and learn, but I also have alot to give and teach.   We are all just people, speaking different languages but  feeling the same feelings.  We all feel fear, happiness, gratefulness, excitement, love, trust, sorrow and joy, to name a few.  We all laugh, and we all cry.  I feel so moved, so different, since I came here.    We waste so much time in life.  The people here?  They work so hard, and have so little.  And yet, they seem always happy.  They eat meals together.  They talk, and visit at meals with eachother.  At school, we all go home for lunch, and so do the teachers.  Everyone goes home.  Meals are taken together, period.  It is the way it is.   In the US, we’re so busy, we hardly ever take meals together.   I think we need to slow down…..feel life, enjoy life and  enjoy eachother.

The pool is lovely, it was such a perfect day for it.  I read like 6 chapters of my book, which was great.  I haven’t had time to read it at all since i’ve been here.  The music was fun, the kids were having fun.  The sound of their laughter and cheers as they made headway with the pinata was filling the place.   I love it here so much!  The air was breezy and warm.  The sounds of the street muffled by the sounds of the fiesta, and you feel so private, behind the tall walls of the hotel.  

 I spent the majority of the day there, from about 10a – 4p.  Then I came home, changed, and walked to town, to go to the store and get some drinks and snacks, for the evening.  The town has a different feel on the weekends.  Tons of people on the streets,  everyone seeming to be relaxed and happy.  A lady on the street gave me a coupon for a little place downtown called La Vieja Cocina.   It offered “Nachos and a bucket of beer for Q75″.  I have to wonder about a bucket of beer…lol, is that for several people?  Or is it just a REALLY large mug??  Maybe I’ll check that out!  They do have good beer here and it’s funny cause you can’t get a cold drink to save your soul, but their beer??  Like ice!  haha I guess we know what they think is more important! 

The little tuc tuc taxi’s offered me a ride home, but I chose to enjoy the walk.  I’ve never taken the taxi here in Antigua.  Only in places when I didn’t know where I was going. LOL  But I enjoy the walk, and the city.  It’s such a magical place.  The cobblestone streets are so romantic, and lovely.  The streets lined with pastel colored walls are stunning to look at .  And the tropical foliage….is a personal favorite.   There are flowers everywhere, and in most windows on the street.

  I’m walking home,  with my bags,  just smiling.  I’m so lucky to be here, in this fabulous city!!!